I don't want to think of myself as an old granny who's frail or weak. I'm a mature lady who has an interesting daily routine. I cook breakfast - egg and sausage for my toast bread. I do gardening as I love plants/flowers. I get naughty at night.

Been single for as long as I can remember. I have been in a few long term relationships but sadly they didn't last the way I expected them to. I do hope it's not too late to try and find a partner in life again.

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?

There's nothing I want more than to look for a daring and naughty lad who can fulfill my sexual fantasies before I can say knife. I need someone who acts fast and who doesn't await instructions before starting his job to please my body.

I'm content with how my life turns out. I live alone, so I can do anything I want. I can walk around naked. I can watch the telly all day. And I can have sex all night. No one would meddle in my affairs, and that's so cool.

Took me a lot of courage to get back onto finding a partner to be with this late, so I would love to not be disappointed. Of course flirting is a dance that needs to be learnt and I'm a very diligent student. Do I get plus points if I say I'm good at...