For the past few weeks, my life has been nothing but dull as a ditchwater. And I’ve been looking for ways to turn it into something more exciting and meaningful. Any help from a charming lass will be greatly appreciated.

I bake bread when I'm at home, but there's a twist. I only bake when I'm starkers and when the door is open. A fresh air helps me bake better. My bread is something never forget. Most always come back to have more.

I work hard but play harder. I relish being outdoors, particularly throughout the summertime. Even winter can't make me stay at home. I love food, good company and loud laughter, while downing tequila.

Here's a fact about me: I am a sucker for lads who are tall, handsome, and who has six-pack abs. Once I lay my eyes on those lads, I get really horny that's why my hand automatically reaches down to my fanny.

I've had a battery-operated boyfriend for the past 5 years and it does more good to me than my prick of an ex-husband if we're being honest. I'm still craving for a well hung lad though, nothing beats the elementary kind of fucking.

Playing tennis was a way for me to release tension for years. Nowadays, I am often disappointed that it doesn't give me the same thrill anymore. Maybe fucking a dipstick would make me feel better, maybe those of the younger variety will do.